Move Mindfully Monday: Notice When Your Face Smiles
Often times when we are in pain, whether physical or emotional, we tend to think it is constant. In the practice of mindfulness, we move into the pain, study it, and get curious about it. When we do this, we notice the intensity and sensation of pain actually ebbs and flows. Sometimes it’s stabbing, shooting, or throbbing and if we sit with it a little longer, the sensation begins to dull or even dissipate completely, if even for a second.
This week, I will begin formal training for Ironman Boulder 2016 with Gage Total Training. This photo was taken in 2009 at my last Ironman. It was the day before I was supposed to fly out to get married and my fiancé had recently called off our wedding. Nothing in me wanted to be there. That morning, I decided I had two choices; cry while sitting on the couch alone or cry while doing the race. I chose the latter. What I remember from that day is crying for 12 hours 33 minutes straight. On two separate occasions, on the 112 mile bike leg, I even got off my bike and stood on the B-Line Highway sobbing as his mom held me, encouraging me to go on.
The moment captured in this photo is in the transition zone between the bike and entering the marathon. I remember the gratitude and relief I felt to be going into the marathon. There were hours more of tears after this transition and certainly more physical pain, but for a moment, I was relieved, joyous and ready to run. Perhaps, what is most important to note, is that even in my darkest grief, the course was lined with people who loved me. I was able to put one foot in front of the other and even managed to smile as I crossed the finish line. I haven’t competed in a full triathlon since that day and I am excited to begin this journey healed, hopeful, and full of joy.